Read This Before I Die - Bucket Review

Welcome to Read This Before I Die’s first ever Bucket Review - a review of alleged “bucket list” experiences that I’m squeezing in before I kick the bucket. For our first review, I headed to Las Vegas for a couple of concerts and some gambling.

The first thing that became obvious upon exiting the airport in Vegas was that it’s very, very hot in Vegas in July. Who knew? It was so hot that chickens were laying hard-boiled eggs and cows were producing evaporated milk. It was so hot that sidewalk vendors were selling frozen spatulas so you could unstick your testicles from the side of your leg.

Besides the weather, the other shock was how expensive things are in Vegas. I always heard that Vegas was cheap so that you’d be enticed to come and gamble. Well it’s not that way anymore - everything is expensive and gambling still benefits the house. It was so expensive that it made taking the family to a game a Fenway Park seem like a cheap night out.

The gambling was fun and the sports betting areas there are great. Unfortunately, due to the heat we didn’t get to walk around much and missed some things we wanted to see, so overall I have to give Vegas an “incomplete” rating. That’s lame, I know, so I’ll rate some individual parts of the trip…

We saw Miranda Lambert the first night we were there at Planet Hollywood. I’m not a huge fan and her concert didn’t change that. It was a basic concert. She sang. There was shooting fire. It was okay.

Rating (1 to 5 buckets):

The second night we went to see Garth Brooks at Caesar’s Palace. He was great. He told stories, interacted with the crowd, sang old stuff, sang newer stuff and sang some covers. He ran around the stage like a kid and made you feel like he appreciated you being there.

Rating (1 to 5 buckets):

Finally, if you’re ever in Vegas and enjoy Italian food, head to Battista’s Hole in the Wall. The food is great and the ambiance is even better. The entrees were about $30, which is reasonable for Vegas, and also include garlic bread, soup or salad, red and white house wine, and a cappuccino for dessert. I felt like I was at my Italian grandma’s house, which I guess would be weird since she’s dead and someone else lives there now.

Rating (1 to 5 buckets):

Sorry there were no fun stories of hitting a jackpot or experiencing Nevada's legalized prostitution, but I do need to head back to Vegas during a better time of year to settle this incomplete rating. But now that I’m on a fixed income I need my Founder/CEO to send me on a business trip - preferably during the Vegas Super Bowl in February of 2024…